Denial, Anger, Acceptance (1.03)

Tony has some difficulty getting an Hasidic Jew to comply with his wishes.
Chris and Brendan get their comeuppance from Corrado.
The Buccos cater a party at the Soprano home.

Episode 3 – Originally aired Jan 24, 1999
Written by Nick Gomez
Directed by Mark Saraceni


This episode continues the previous episode’s comparison between the Golden Age of the Mob versus its current state.  Two very early scenes in this hour, presented back-to-back, pit Christopher and Brendan (representing the current mob) against Corrado and Mikey (who represent—or at least think of themselves as representing—the Golden Age).  Both scenes are formally linked by the dialogue: in each scene, the men are discussing the return of the hijacked truck to Comley.  But the two scenes differ greatly in their composition, both visually and sonically, in order to make a contrast between the two pairs of men:

  1. Chris and Brendan snort cocaine whereas Corrado and Mikey enjoy a more traditional dinner
  2. The drums of hard-rock band Ethyline pound in Chris’ car whereas cool jazz plays at the restaurant
  3. The young men almost look like they’re in a nightclub as a red light pulsates behind them whereas a classical-style painting of architectural ruins hangs behind Corrado and Mikey

Paintings play an important role in this hour.  The artwork that hangs behind Corrado implicitly corresponds with his conventional aesthetic and more traditional beliefs.  But this episode also deals explicitly with paintings and their meanings.  Tony is suspicious of the artwork he sees in Melfi’s waiting room—he says it’s a trick-painting, a “Korshack.”  In a sense, the painting does function as a Rorschach test: it reveals Tony’s thoughts and state of mind.  He is preoccupied with death and dying, and the rotting tree that he thinks he sees in the painting exposes this preoccupation.

red barn painting

This episode is highly concerned with death and dying.  (In fact, the episode title is generated from Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’ book, On Death and Dying.  The book maps what she calls the 5 stages of grief, with Denial, Anger and Acceptance being stages 1, 2 and 5 respectively).  Jackie Aprile’s worsening cancer weighs heavily on Tony and gets him thinking about death.  So does the situation with the Hasid, Ariel, who shows a fearless grit when facing imminent death at the hands of Paulie and Silvio.  Ariel (whose name means “lion of God” in Hebrew) recites Psalm 23 and finds courage in his faith as the goombahs threaten him.

Dr. Melfi recognizes that her patient is deeply troubled by something that he doesn’t want to face.  She helps Tony zero in on what is bothering him:

Melfi:  You envy the Hasids and their beliefs?
Tony:  All this shit’s for nothing?  And if this shit’s for nothin’, then why do I gotta think about it?
Melfi:  That’s the mystery, isn’t it?  The mystery of God or whatever you want to call it and why we’re given the questionable gift of knowing that we’re gonna die.

So it’s not just illness and death that trouble Tony—it’s the possibility that life may just be a Big Nothing.  Meaningless, absurd.  Tony, lacking the profound faith that heartens Ariel, is perhaps particularly vulnerable to this cruel idea.  Might Ariel’s father-in-law be correct in claiming that Tony is nothing more than “mud, godless clay”?

Tony is distraught over what cancer is doing to his friend Jackie.  “It’s like he’s already gone,” Tony laments to Melfi.  Jackie is becoming a non-being, nothing.  The Hockney painting, “A Bigger Splash,” drives this idea home.  The painting captures Tony’s attention when he sees it in Irina’s apartment.  His eyes focus on the chair near the center of the painting.  The chair is empty, it is occupied by nothing.  The composition suggests that there is someone in the painting, we just can’t see him because he has jumped into the pool.  Thus, the painting displays a person who is simultaneously there and not there.  Sort of like Jackie, who is there at the hospital but not exactly there.  He is “already gone.”

David Hockney - Sopranos Autopsy

Christopher must also confront death by the end of the episode.  Corrado (under Livia’s implicit instruction) sets Chris up for a mock-execution.  Chris does not respond to the threat of death as Hasidic Ariel did—he doesn’t recite prayer or face death with nerve and resolution.  Christopher cries and shits his pants instead.


Ariel tells the story of 900 Jews who fought 15,000 Roman soldiers, defiantly asking whatever ended up happening to the Romans.  Tony responds, “You’re lookin’ at them, asshole.”  It’s a funny and effective line that needs no explanation, but I’m going to labor one anyway, because I think there may be a further point to recognize.  Tony, Silvio and Paulie are the Romans in at least three ways:

  1. They are Roman-Catholics
  2. As Italians, they may indeed be descendants of the Romans
  3. America is the New Rome, and Americans are the New Romans

These guys are members of a criminal empire, but also members of a larger American society that suffers from greed, decadence and self-indulgence—traits that helped bring down the Roman Empire.  The idea that America is the New Rome is bolstered when the camera cuts, at the end of this scene, to Tony’s house:

roman villa

The house, at least as it looks in this composition, could almost literally pass for an ancient Roman villa, with its overbearing symmetry, fluted and tapered decorative columns, faux marble, and classical door trim and moldings.  Carmela acts like an Empress in her luxurious house, treating her friend Charmaine like she is merely “the help.”  Perhaps many years from now, after the decline and fall of the American Empire, nothing will be left of this house.  There will not even be any substantial architectural ruins left, like those seen in the painting behind Corrado earlier in the episode—this house, though a bit more upscale than the average American home, is made up of little more than thin sheets of plywood and gypsum on a lumber frame.  Tony and his crew and his family—and the rest of us too—may be consuming and indulging our way into oblivion just as the ancient Romans did.

The Billy Crystal/Robert DeNiro comedy Analyze This came out the same year that this first season of The Sopranos aired.  The movie counted on our recognition that there is something inherently funny and odd about a mobster talking to a therapist.  The idea that a mobster—who is sworn to the omerta, the code of silence—is now paying someone to listen to his deepest concerns…well, how can that not be a barrel of laughs?  David Chase understood this as well, and I think some of the scenes with Tony and Melfi are funnier than anything you will find between DeNiro and Crystal.  But therapy scenes on The Sopranos can also be played dead earnestly, not for laughs.  We get our first real glimpse of Tony’s profound existential dilemmas in the therapy scenes of this episode, and Chase will spend much time on these concerns—both in and out of Melfi’s office—as the series continues.


The episode closes with a scene that clearly references the climactic “baptism scene” in The Godfather.  Chase crosscuts the scene with violence and scores it with religious music just as Coppola did in his film.  But there is a major difference in the way the violent imagery is handled.  We can break it down with three frames from the film and three from the episode:

  1. A nude Moe Greene relaxes with eyes closed/A nude Brendan relaxes with eyes closed
  2. Our attention goes to Moe’s eye when a bullet enters it/Our attention goes to Brendan’s eye with an extreme closeup of it
  3. Blood flows from Moe’s eye socket/Blood flows into Brendan’s bathtub

moe and brendan

Chase takes some of the elements from the Moe-Greene-scene (attention drawn to the eye; flowing blood) and reimagines them.  He adds some elements (unpictured here: a closeup of the gun from Brendan’s POV; Brendan’s final death-tremble) to increase intensity.  Coppola’s scene is straightforwardly violent.  Chase manages to bypass some of this violence—we don’t actually see a bullet enter Brendan’s eye—and yet his scene is just as visceral and forceful.  The Sopranos is violent, certainly, but it is not as bloody as many of its detractors claimed.  This scene demonstrates how the astute use of camera and editing allows Chase to omit highly violent imagery but still create moments of unmistakable graphic power.



  • Sex defies death.  Freud believed eros (procreation) and thanatos (the death instinct) to be the two main human drives.  Here, eros seems to overpower thanatos: 1) it is the threat of castration, not death, that finally subdues Ariel; 2) the Bing stripper that Tony supplies to Jackie gives him a respite from his worries about his grim illness.
  • Artie Bucco is sinking into self-pity and depression over the loss of his restaurant.  We will see in future episodes that he has a tendency to slip into low spirits when things get tough—and Tony has a tendency to get frustrated at him for this.  The two men argue over this point, and it escalates into an all-out food fight.  (This hour really warms us up to Tony; how can we dislike a guy who has a food fight in the middle of a swanky party with one buddy, and furnishes another buddy with a big-boobed respite from his cancer treatment?)
  • Ugly pun: Mikey Palmice says “Hijack, Bye Jack” to Brendan before killing him (as retribution for his hijacking of the Comley trucks).
  • Corrado mentions here that he bought a surfboard for AJ, and it is something that will come up over and over again.
  • Progressive darkening: the angelic lullaby, “All Through the Night,” that Meadow’s choir sings in the final scene gives way to Elvis Costello’s much darker “Complicated Shadows” over the credits.  Chase is so impressed by this song that he playfully wonders, in The Sopranos: The Book, whether the production team is merely redundant: “Something like ‘Complicated Shadows’ delivers the mood, the plot, the subtext, everything…so who needs us?”

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31 responses to “Denial, Anger, Acceptance (1.03)

  1. Interesting character dynamic: Although Tony flirted with Dr. Melfi in a prior episode and she did not flirt back, maintaining a professional tone, in this episode she’s switched from the pants suits she had worn previously (I believe exclusively, in the sessions we saw), to a short skirt.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Again, excellent analysis. I really gotta watch the Godfathers

    Liked by 1 person

  3. So whatever happened to Bargaining & Depression?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Did you ever notice in one of the last scenes where Chris gets grabbed by the russians at the ice cream truck, it reads in glowing letters on the truck “Slow Down, Kids”, like a subliminal message to Chris and Brandon to slow their roll, that they’re kind of in over their heads with what they’ve been doing

    Liked by 1 person

  5. A very enjoyable episode and the story really gains momentum here. I like your comments regarding the paintings and the part they play. As many times watching this, I never made much of a connection. Perhaps I was too busy laughing at the “Hey asshole, we’re from Harvard, and what do you think about this spooky depressing barn and rotted out tree” line. HAHA! The dialogue that follows with Melfi regarding the “Korshack” test is even better! This also ties into the last episode of the old school/ new school mobster. Re-watching this now, this early scene of Chris/Brenden and Junior/Mikey puts it all out there. Their choice of surrounding, food/drugs, dress, music, all show the great divide between them.

    The Hasids and the “Fly Away Motel” is also a great story line, which comes in and out of the series. The irony is that Tony may have learned something from Ariel and his devotion to his faith, or perhaps not. Another group of “poor pricks” who end up worse off after dealing with Tony Soprano. I’m sure “ZZ Top” wishes he never shook Tony’s hand outside of the pork store.

    Regarding death and dying and how we cope seems to be the underlying theme of this episode. Its a shame the Jackie character passed so early in the series. We never really know much about this interesting character. The overall feeling of the second half of the episode definitely turns melancholy with the worsening condition of Jackie. These are feelings all viewers can relate to and we may find ourselves asking the same questions about death that Tony asked. One of my favorite parts of the entire series is the ending of this episode. The way the choir music flows with what’s happening, and of course the Brendan Filone (Hijack, bye jack) hit. I am not a music or art guru, but their use in this episode and throughout the run of the series makes the show.

    Poor Artie…the one guy he feels he can talk to and be open about his feelings actually destroyed his restaurant. Another “poor prick.”

    I was also impressed with the Mikey Palmice character. He was a guy you love to hate and felt Al Sapienza he did an awesome job.

    Good work Ron, can’t wait to keep reading.

    Liked by 1 person

    • There’s something so perfectly grungy about that motel, I wish Chase had located more scenes there. And the plot-point that it is these deeply religious people who allow their motel to be used for such nefarious business just makes it even more perfect…


  6. I like the thoughts about the ‘New Romans’ and modern houses that are not made of stone. It shows how deep this show delves into our subconscious awareness.

    I saw a pattern in how the three interactions dealt with domination and submission. The Hasidic Jew stood up to Tony, Chris capitulated to his abductors but Charmaine regained her dignity without destroying the relationship and I think in some ways comes off as the most courageous.

    In contrast to Carmela and Charmaine, Tony and Art patch up their relationship by throwing food at each other. And there is a scene where Carmela is watching this with amusement and some envy and Charmaine is in the background watching her completely out of focus.


    • Yes… and the fact that most of the men on the show think very little of Charmaine (beyond her plentiful bosom), with almost no recognition of her courage or integrity, tells you volumes about SopranoWorld…


  7. Charmaine does appear to be a solid women of integrity. And she is portrayed as a loud, demanding, almost “bitchy” woman nearly every scene she is in.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Not so sure she has ‘integrity’ (strong moral principles). After all, she cattily informed Carmela that she (Charmaine) slept with Tony when Carm was away, and insinuated that “it wasn’t for me” (lousy sex?). Perhaps Charmaine felt so humiliated by Carm’s gesturing with her fake-tipped fingers to go to her immediately that she wanted to humiliate Carm in return. (Carm had previously pulled the same gesture to her maid as well.)

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I can’t help thinking Tony has such strong feelings about the farm/barn painting because maybe it reminds him of the one in Upstate NY.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Well I don’t know if Chase had Upstate in mind at this early point in the series, but the barn in episode 5.13 does seem to echo the barn in the painting here..


  9. godfreyofboulogne

    A good review, as always, but I think you might want to do some reading on the actual factors behind the fall of the (Western) Roman Empire, which did not include to any significant degree “greed and self-indulgence.” Those were characteristic of the Empire at its height during the Julio-Claudian and Antonine eras, not the puritanical Christian military dictatorship which was overrun in the 5th century.


    • I know different factors contributed but wasn’t decadence among the ruling class at least part of it? I’ll take your word for it because I’m not well-versed in that period of history. In any case, I doubt the writers were parsing over the historical details when they put the words in Tony’s mouth…

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Pingback: The Movies of the Sopranos Season 1 (EP 1-5) – Rahma Lama Ding Dong

  11. Every time I watch this episode I swear I see the silhouette of a person in the barn doorway of the first painting. The shot even tightens on the doorway as if we are supposed to be looking inside the barn. I don’t know, it’s probably just the look of the brushstroke, but I’d be willing to bet that Chase used this painting as inspiration for the shadows in the doorways we see later on in Tony’s dreams. Also, if you look at the second painting, the reflection on the glass doors behind the empty chair silhouette what looks to be the arched roof of a barn. Once again, I’m probably reaching here, but I think the meaning of the paintings holds far more importance to Tony’s overall state of mind rather than just his dread about Jackie in this particular episode.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Great observation about the second painting and the reflection of what might be a barn. Booker and Daraiseh, in their book Tony Soprano’s America, also noticed that reflection, but they weren’t sure what to make of it.. Is it a little Easter egg that Chase threw in for eagle-eyed viewers? Or is it supposed to underscore Tony’s preoccupation with death and decay? Or perhaps it’s just a coincidence…


    • Like Greg, I see a human shape in the doorway of the barn – a female, I think.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. One of my favorite subtle little touches in this episode is the way Meadow and Hunter, up on stage during the recital, have dilated pupils and are vibrating a little from the crystal they’ve been taking.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I just re-watched this and also noticed Meadow and Hunter not only vibrating but with flop sweat on their foreheads. Nice touch – they’re delivering a beautiful moment for their parents, but fueled by excess and short cuts because they’re overworked. This episode and others involving Meadow getting into college will be even more interesting to view in light of the recent college admissions scandal.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Well you won’t believe this but my husband and I are just watching the Sopranos, it’s 2019! I find it to be a deeply intimate portrayal of a man and his relationship to his therapist, and the life that swirls around him. I am impressed by the intelligence and risk taking in this series. Thank you for your analysis. It takes me back to being in college and taking film studies classes, and having the opportunity to ‘discuss’ the episodes with others.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. There are three superb pieces of dialogue in this episode, worth quoting.
    – – – –
    Ariel: You ever heard of the Masada? For two years 900 Jews held their own against 15,000 Roman soldiers. They chose death before enslavement. And the Romans, where are they now?
    Tony: You’re looking at them, asshole.
    Tony’s riposte is not the funniest line in ‘The Sopranos’ (impossible to say what that is), but it is the wittiest. He is not a witty man, but his mind is alert and aggressive, and he could have said it.
    By the way: It is usual to just say “Masada”; “the Masada” may be by analogy with “the Alamo”.
    – – – –
    Paulie – get the balls-cutter!
    – – – –
    Maybe Christopher could use a little talking-to. You know. The other one . . . Filone . . . I don’t know.
    This is the most sinister line in ‘The Sopranos’.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Early Sopranos leans a little more into genre sensationalism, but only slightly. For all the cinematic contrast of Junior’s revenge playing out over “All Through the Night,” Branden’s murder is a bit silly. Mikey with the lame one-liner, and what is Junior even doing there?! This is only the first time this season Mr. Magoo will be right there when his underling shoots a man on his orders. Tony only has that kind of luck when he’s among the ones shooting (Chucky, Matthew, Puss). The invocation of Masada and Romans is also a bit dramatic, though, yes, if the Praetorian Guard has a modern descendant, Cosa Nostra would be it (or just any modern police force, but I digress).
    It’s tempting to read into Tony’s existentialism in this early hour, comparing it to the nihilism of 6B. This is only lap three, and the show is laying out some heavier cards. Tony’s disappointed to see a strong man in decline; he too will decline but in a very different way. He says he is willing to die for something, like a war (“we’re soldiers, soldiers don’t go to hell”); if he does fall at Holsten’s, at the supposed end of a bitter war, there’s no grandeur or nobility to it, and no comfort in surrounded by family (not, alas, next to the moose head).
    Chris’s comment about Cops felt very topical.
    A good friend of mine converted to Chassidus nine years ago. His hat is a Borsalino, same worn by the Lubavitcher Rebbe, whom they hold is very high regard. Not a sombrero, of course. Chassids are something of an exception to the ruination incel culture has brought to fedoras in recent years.
    The Simpsons makes the same ZZ Top joke. Wiseltier’s artistic “improvement of the American sense of reality” quote might apply to this other S family as well, even if on a dramatic level they aren’t compatible.
    Mundane details watch: Hunter asking for a beer then brushing it off like she was kidding when Aide obviously won’t give it to her. The Russians reacting to Chris doing a #2 in his pants (“Peeyew! Poopola!”), Irina knowing enough to be aware of David Hockney, but messing up his name.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think that that genre sensationalism comes back again in Season 6 in the last few episodes of the series, but I think that Chase takes a more ironic, more critical attitude toward it at that time..


  16. The Hockney painting, “A Bigger Splash”, also foreshadows AJ’s suicide attempt at the series end.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Pingback: The Soprano Onceover: #63. “Denial, Anger, Acceptance” (S1E3) | janiojala

  18. I was hoping for more I depth look at Carmellas plight.

    Liked by 1 person

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